Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe
Catch me when I fall.
"You need threats to have discipline"
- Stephen Colbert
Amazing Love
Amazing love,
How can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
I have always avoided watching The Passion of the Christ. Don’t get me wrong, its not because I don’t want to, never mind, its because I don’t want to. I know it happened, I know Jesus loved the world He died for us on the cross, but I really didn’t want the visualization in front of me. I don’t need it. But today, I guess I really had to. I prayed before we started that I have the courage to last through it, but really, I have nothing to talk about when talking about suffering, as my Lord had suffered.
When I was young, my mom always told me the best way to conquer a scary movie is to tell yourself, its not real. It’s not like that in real life. BUT THIS WAS REAL.
I’m not here to summarize, I just want to recall and…cherish those thoughts before I forget. It might be useful to share this with someone facing the same fear as me later on.
I watched 2/3 of the movie with my pink hoodie over my head. I squirmed and fidgeted with my hoodie most of the time, avoiding a lot of the gore. Especially during the scourging at the pillar. The very sounds of the whips leashing at Jesus, and his muffled cries were enough to send chills all over my body. I counted down the hours until it was done.
The moment I started crying was when Mary ran up to Jesus, arms wide open. I can’t imagine the pain of seeing your own son , bloodied, battered, undignified. The flashbacks to the child Jesus with His mom were heartwarming, but also heart-wrenching. So touching were his words:
Mother, behold I make all things new.
The way to the crucifixion allowed me to think alot about how and why Jesus died for us. Things that have been told, but forgotten. How Jesus prayed for his enemies, loved the persecuted, saved the sinners. HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME SO JESUS? My sins were the reason you had to die. I , took part in yelling in the square “ Crucify him, crucify him!” I am not worthy of your love.
Repeatedly I asked questions to Jesus. Why did you do it? We didn’t care, you should have just let us be. Why don’t you leave? Beat up the soldiers mocking you? Screamed you were innocent, punish the high priests. Yell at Pontius pilate for not having stronger faith. Honestly, I have to describe my feeling as frustrated.
BUT THIS IS WHY JESUS LOVED US SO. He prayed for us at the end. He prayed that we who have condemned Him have no idea what we are doing. Your love is amazing.
Freely you gave it all for us/ Surrendered your life upon that cross
That cross was a symbol of mockery, defeat. But you transformed a bundle of wood into an everlasting sign of your great love, mercy, the Way , the Truth and the Light. You showed us humility and sacrifice in the greatest sense. You would die for a friend, but I am not worthy that you should call me that.
I’ll never know how much it cost/ To see my sin upon that cross
You are my king, and at the end of it all, after the tears and shock, I know I will rejoice in your Resurrection.
Lost Lake, Whistler, British Columbia
Just because I’m losing, doesn’t mean I’m lost
Where the mind wanders off;
the reflection questions what is real
Venice, Italy
Goodness gracious. Waking up to a sunny morning overlooking the canal. Can’t even imagine.
Note to self
That cliche about how you don’t realize what you missed out on until you’ve lost it? That can be the worst feeling ever. Soak in every moment, and don’t let there be any regrets.
Land of the Elephants
My brother is heading to Botswana in five days. I’m a ball of excitement, anxiousness and jubilation all round up in one.
Remember- you are not just going to help, but you will be helped.
Never underestimate the bonds we have with each other… even when we are hemispheres apart.
Note to self
Can fate be crafted? I remember having this conversation with myself a while back. You alone know what the reality was, but sometimes it takes the extra decorated excuse to get the ball rolling.
Now what?
